We're open! Here's our Groupon promotion! Free booze!
We're happy to announce that after an exhausting and stressful couple of weeks, we're open to rub you up and make you happy!
As an opening promotion, here's [a link to your groupon].
Some day soon we'll have a bunch of wine and maybe stinky cheese to put in your face to soften you up before I pitch my services to you.